Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Another Joke

My aunt loves e-mailing me jokes. Some of them are even good. Here's one that made me laugh:

The Cohen family was on good terms with their Catholic neighbors, the O'Brians. In fact, little Yankele Cohen and Chris O'Brian from next door would play together from time to time. Or at least they used to. Well, one late December's day, Tim O'Brian, the non-Jewish father, came storming in to the Cohen's house holding poor Yankele by the ear. "Your son is not going near my Chris again; he just has no respect for us and our religion!" "What's the matter; what did he do?" inquired Mr. Cohen. "I'll tell you" said Tim in a rage. "He saw our Christmas tree and started making fun of it." "He did?" said Mr. Cohen. "What did he say?" "He saw our tree and started asking all sorts of ridiculous questions – which kinds of pine trees can be used for a Christmas tree? What's the minimum required height? How close to the window does it need to be? Do too many decorations render it unfit? What if it's under a neighbor's balcony?!..."

with thanks to the unknown author


Rafi G said...


The Babysitter said...

lol that was a good one.

Did you ever see the Jewish joke about "the obvious"?

הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"ט said...

I think about that sort of stuff a lot; the difference between our 'halacha', with it's strict and clearly defined parameters, and their generalist 'morality'. I think it's one of the main differences (between Judaism and Christianity).

SuperRaizy said...


No,I never heard that joke. Can you tell it to us?

When I told this joke to my
14-year-old-gemara-learning-son, he didn't see why it was funny. He was very surprised to hear that other religions do not analyze their customs b'iyun. He actually said, "Well, what ARE the dinim of a Christmas tree?"

The Babysitter said...

here's another good Jewish joke "the obvious", its a long one though:

After months of negotiation with the authorities, a Talmudist from Odessa was finally granted permission to visit Moscow.

He boarded the train and found an empty seat.

At the next stop, a young man got on and sat next to him.

The scholar looked at the young man and he thought:

This fellow doesn't look like a peasant, so if he is no peasant he probably comes from this district.

If he comes from this district, then he must be Jewish because this is, after all, a Jewish district.

But on the other hand, since he is a Jew, where could he be going?
I'm the only Jew in our district who has permission to travel to Moscow.

Ahh, wait! Just outside Moscow there is a little village called Samvet, and Jews don't need special permission to go to Samvet.

But why would he travel to Samvet?

He is surely going to visit one of the Jewish families there.

But how many Jewish families are there in Samvet?

Aha, only two - the Bernsteins and the Steinbergs.

But since the Bernsteins are a terrible family, so such a nice looking fellow like him, he must be visiting the Steinbergs.

But why is he going to the Steinbergs in Samvet?

The Steinbergs have only daughters, two of them, so maybe he's their son-in-law.

But if he is, then which daughter did he marry?

They say that Sarah Steinberg married a nice lawyer from Budapest,

and Esther married a businessman from Zhitomer, so it must be Sarah's husband.

Which means that his name is Alexander Cohen, if I'm not mistaken.

But if he came from Budapest, with all the anti-Semitism they have there, he must have changed his name.

What's the Hungarian equivalent of Cohen?

It is Kovacs.

But since they allowed him to change his name, he must have special status to change it.

What could it be?

Must be a doctorate from the University.

Nothing less would do.

At this point, therefore, the scholar of Talmud turns to the young man and says,

"Excuse me. Do you mind if I open the window, Dr. Kovacs?"

"Not all," answered the startled co-passenger.

"But how is it that you know my name?"

"Ahhh," replied the Talmudist, "It was obvious."

SuperRaizy said...

Oh, yes, I do remember hearing that one- it's a classic.

Baila said...

It's all in the details, huh?

Bas~Melech said...

Finally, a joke I haven't heard before! (or at least not recently enough to remember...) And a nice one, too. :-) Thanks for sharing.

Babysitter: I've heard that one before, but just now it reminded me of the Holmes method... ;-)