Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Why Men Love Sports... I Think

OK. I think I finally get it now.
The reason that guys love sports so much is that it gives them a safe, socially acceptable outlet for their innate, testosterone-fueled violent tendencies.
No, wait, hear me out. I'm going somewhere with this.
Think about the terminology that they use. The winners "beat" the losers. The losers "take a hit" or "get pounded" or "get crushed". Teams "battle" for first place. Teams "recruit" new players, and old players are called "veterans".
Men don't simply watch a football game. They cheer, they shout obscenities, they pray, they jump up and down with excitement, they pound each other on the back. In the course of a 3 hour game, a sports fan will experience intense joy, sadness, anger, and frustration, all of which he will express LOUDLY and vehemently. For the modern, civilized man, sports serves as a substitute for the bloody, hand to hand combat that their ancestors lustfully engaged in.
And if you think about, a sports game is also a lot like sex. There's the nervous anticipation as you wait for it to begin, the slow build up of excitement as the action heats up, the climactic touchdown or home run, all accompanied by some intense emotional feelings. And if it was a good game, you'll remember it for a long time.
So there you have it. Professor Superraizy's Theory. Sports=war+ sex.
Any questions?


Jack said...

Don't over analyze it, just accept it. ;)

muse said...

There's the spectator and there's the participant. The spectator is related to the backseatdriver. That's very male.

הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"ט said...

Same as the Roman gladiators...

the entertainment of the mindless....

Jacob Da Jew said...

Hey Shlomo, don't be an asshole!


I hardly think football is mindless as lots of strategy goes into it.

Then again, you sound like a total dork who never played sports in his pathetic little life.

If only you were in my way as I ride my monster to work....

QuietusLeo said...

Of course it's a substitute for combat. That's why we like it so much.
Took you a while, didn't it?

SuperRaizy said...

OK, fair enough. Now explain to me why men still haven't evolved past the point where they find total domination over others to be a highly rewarding pursuit.

The Babysitter said...

That was a funny post. It has some truth in it. Although now that the superbowl passed, I saw how many girls were into it also, so I wonder what becomes of that.

הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"ט said...

jacob da jew; alright listen man- if you're still out there; we're here on this world to do purposeful things. That's what religion is about. Playing sports could very well be considered purposeful, being that they use the emotion of competitiveness to help one stay healthy. Therefore when finishing a game, you're feeling should be- whether you won or lost- thank G-d I was able to keep my body healthy in a fun way (I say 'could very well be considered purposeful' because the sages of the Talmud were opposed to sports. But sports were way different back then).

But, and I stress 'but', there is nothing purposeful about watching other people play sports (unless you want to pick up their moves or something). That is usualy purely for entertainment, a type of entertainment that comes directly from the most banal of pagan cultures. The importance associated with watching people play sports today is to a large extent an American invention, it is purposeless, and therefore a member of 'Yisrael' who follows them, well, that is a stain on his or her personality.

Do you not agree?

Jacob Da Jew said...


I don't quite agree with you.

Whats wrong with entertainment?

O.K. maybe some of us do not think in the same terms of whether or not it is "a stain on my personality" or not.

I just enjoy life.