Sunday, August 2, 2009

Help Wanted Ads That Crack Me Up

I love reading the help wanted ads on Craigslist, particularly the "domestic" ads for babysitters and housekeepers. Some of the ads are perfectly reasonable, but some are so over the top and demonstrate how demanding, spoiled, and self indulgent rich people can be sometimes.
I read them aloud and laugh, which just gives Flash another reason to think that I'm a bit strange.
My all time favorite was one I saw about a year ago. The parents were looking for a FOURTH nanny (to "assist" the three that they already had). The ad reassured applicants not to worry about being overwhelmed, because they also employed 2 full time housekeepers, a part time chef, a driver, and a gardener. The best part? The couple only had 2 children. That's a total of nine employees to service a family of four.
A close runner up is this ad, which I have edited for brevity (the original was even longer and included some Personal Assistant duties as well):
"Looking for a warm, enthusiastic, and creative Nanny for energetic seven year old.
Duties: -organizing playdates, extracurricular activities, and keeping track of Lindsay’s calendar. -maintaining the organization and cleanliness of Lindsay’s room and play area, ultimately teaching Lindsay how to keep her personal space tidy. -supervising playdates and outings -accompanying the family on vacation -occasionally preparing meals for Lindsay -organizing and maintaining Lindsay’s closet: spot treatment, ironing, light washing at times, sending clothes to the cleaner etc. -providing enthusiastic companionship. Lindsay enjoys having someone who will engage in arts and crafts projects, card games, building blocks, etc. -support and instruction in regards to school work and homework. The right nanny for Lindsay will be patient, kind, and innovative. You should be highly organized and able to multi-task. Creativity is pivotal, as is flexibility in regards to growing responsibility and changing hours (particularly during vacations). Lindsay needs a nanny who can foster her development in school not only through help with school work, but also through positive reinforcement. A background in education is preferred but not required for the right individual. Personal development is also key. You should be able to provide structure, clear rules and expectations of behavior, in a manner that is positive and encouraging. You should be energetic and able to keep up with a seven year old throughout the day. You should be a strong swimmer, enjoy outdoor activity/athletics, and arts and crafts. You must be an experienced driver with a valid license. Proficiency in French, Spanish, or Chinese is a plus. Above all, you should have the ability to effectively and respectfully communicate and, of course, love children."

I'm not sure why, but among all that nonsense, "maintaining Lindsay's closet" makes me laugh the hardest. I would SO love to meet Lindsay 10 years from now, as her parents struggle to understand why their precious daughter to whom they have given everything has turned out to be a sullen, spoiled teenager with no motivation and no sense of personal responsibility.
As it is, I will be left to wonder forever whether or not Lindsay "ultimately" learned how "to keep her personal space tidy".

10 comments:

adena said...

love it! (both the ad, and your commentary!) this is actually a great description of the 'perfect parent' (altho of course we know there is no such thing) I'm wondering why the parents can't provide at least some of these things: too busy with work or other commitments? anyway...fascinating!

Mrs. S. said...

"As it is, I will be left to wonder forever whether or not Lindsay "ultimately" learned how "to keep her personal space tidy"."
Of course she'll learn how. She'll learn that she just has to hire someone to do it for her...
:-)

ilanadavita said...

I am speechless!

Baila said...

Can I ask what was the salary offered? I'm thinking of hiring someone like that myself. (I'm very tired, and my kid's closets certainly need maintaining).

[And so many comments on this post!] :-)

MAK said...

I gotta agree with you, the ads are insanity, isn't this what the parents should be doing for their kids in the first place? This is why my mother wanted to raise me herself and not have a nanny do it.
By the way, you've been tagged

toby said...

That is just tremendous - there's nothing to add! The sad thing is that it's real...

SuperRaizy said...

Well of course you guys are right, that this is what parents should be doing for their kids anyway. But it's trendy these days to outsource everything- even parenting.

Baila-
The ad didn't specify the salary. But really now, no price is too high to pay for adequate closet maintenance!

Modern Girl said...

It reminds me of what I learned in sociology about Victorian era Europe, and how the upper class women would essentially rent their children out to wetnurses because they were too busy hosting parties to make their husband look good.

It's kinda sick that we haven't gotten away from this segregation of equality in society.

RivkA with a capital A said...

I want a nanny for ME!!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like My kind of job ! And just think it wouldn't be too far to retire to the dungeon at night when your chores were done.